Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned

by An Intricate Disguise

First published

Night Light works as a priest in Celestia's church, taking confessions. The booth also has a gloryhole, because he's hardly the most pious himself. His daughter's a nymphomaniac, and comes to confess her sins to her father...

Night Light works as a priest in Celestia's church, taking confessions. The booth also has a gloryhole, because he's hardly the most pious himself. His daughter's a nymphomaniac, and comes to confess her sins to her father...

Will her unwitting father bathe her in holy water?

Probably!


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The beginning of the day was always very dull for Night Light. Get in, light the candles, prepare the scriptures, give service, and sip enough communion wine to get him through the rest of the day. He sighed when old mares came up to him and asked if Celestia would look after their grandfoals when they were no longer there, or when an insistent agnostic would approach him and question the words of scripture. It was trying work to not groan at some, and scream at the others.

But it was their right to question. He had, once, and everyone who came to find faith in the Lord should be entitled to an answer. Didn't mean he particularly enjoyed giving them. Half of the time, it was a test of mental agility. Could he recite the correct passage, or explain Celestia's intentions in the right way?

The other half of the time, he bullshitted as he went along.

But there was one thing that Night Light always looked forward to after a long morning of churchly duties. The afternoon confessionals. Why? Put simply, Night Light was a very curious pony, and hearing about the lives of others, their transgressions and misdeeds, it interested him greatly. Plus, the almost psychiatric spiritual help he was able to give in the booth led him to feel that he was helping ponies, that he spoke with Celestia's voice.

It was, in a word, power. The power to heal, the power to empathise and understand, and the power to know all.

That said, Night Light, despite his work, despite his role, wasn't always the most saintly of ponies himself. He'd try his hardest to play nice as often as he could, but on rare occasion, he'd receive the urge to do something that he knew he shouldn't, something that could very well bar him from the church, that could destroy his reputation and end his family life.

He'd do this same thing whenever he heard a particularly attractive sounding mare on the other side of the confession booth. It was by no means moral, and it definitely wasn't godly, but by fuck was it fun.

Turns out, today was one of these days. It didn't happen too often, only a couple of times a week, but when it did, Night Light always felt a little excited. The mare on the other side of the booth stepped inside, sat down. He couldn't see her through the tight grate that separated the two of them, only allowing them to hear one another, but he could easily detect the sound of one of her hind legs thumping against the wooden seat from where she sat.

She was clearly nervous about something.

Night Light initiated, as he always did. "Welcome, my child. Speak, and Celestia will hear you."

"I..." the mare was quiet for a moment. She was young, perhaps in her twenties, and there was certain hesitation in her voice. "I don't know quite where to start. I've never done this before."

There were a lot of things she'd yet to do that she'd soon be introduced to. Night Light stifled a grin—he couldn't be sure where this would go yet. "Relax, child. Take your time, I am here to listen, and to assist however I may."

"Well, where do I start?" The mare sighed; the sound was dreamy. "I've been... having untoward thoughts towards another stallion." A pause. "Erm, besides my boyfriend, that is."

Jackpot. Night Light leaned forwards in his side of the booth, dropping his tone. "And... this stallion that you've been having thoughts of, are they sexual in nature?"

"Y-yes," her voice cracked deliciously. He could almost taste her nerves. "I'm a whore, aren't I? Does Celestia hate me now?"

Night Light put on his most soothing voice. It wasn't an affectation, he meant his words. "Of course not, my poor child. Celestia forgives all who seek it. It's said that the first step to piety is honesty with the Lord and one's self. Perhaps if we can work out the root of your fixation, we can solve things?"

She likely didn't know what he meant. She also had no clue there was a gloryhole slot in the booth that Night Light was hoping to open soon. "I... I suppose? How would we do that?"

A chuckle. "Well, I expect that there's a reason another stallion has caught your eye, and that you're coveting him so. Adultery is a sin, and you've clearly recognised that by the fact you're here. What you may not know is why you wish to spend time with a stallion other than your betrothed." He held his words for but a moment of tension. He was basically playing with her by now. "Tell me... is it that your current partner is boring to you? Perhaps inattentive? Does the other stallion offer something that your partner cannot?"

A small giggle from the other end of the booth. "I-I almost feel bad saying it, but... it's a physical craving. For one of his friends, actually."

"And why is that?"

"I've been with my boyfriend for a little while now. He's kind, loving, and everything I could ask for in a stallion. I would never change him, and I definitely do love him."

Night Light was glad she couldn't hear his smile. "But?"

Another sigh. She sounded wistful. "But his friend, he's an asshole. A sexy asshole. He knows it, too. He's constantly teasing me, acting flirtatious whenever my boyfriend's around—some friend, huh?—and generally being a dick. I'd never actually sleep with him, but I feel bad for even fantasising about it. He's good looking, sure, but..."

"You don't know whether you aren't satisfied with what you have, or whether it's just the attention that turns you on?" Night Light could get inside a pony's head without so much as looking at them. This little box, it was separate from the rest of Equestria. This was his domain.

"I'm... not sure. Like, I won't lie, his friend is hotter than him, and has a bigger dick from what I can tell too, but that shouldn't be the only thing driving my interest, right? I'm not that shallow, am I?"

Night Light knew his next words to be true, for he felt them himself. "Ponies are very sexual creatures, my child. We are often caught by the allure of the physical and decadent, and it is quite frequently difficult to distinguish between what we actually want and what is simply driven by transient lust." Night Light considered it before doing what he did next. It was a gamble to try at this point. She might reject him and simply leave. "I would like to propose a test of sorts."

"What kind of test?" The mare had clear doubt in her voice. Likely she didn't think any test could help her.

He'd show the non-believer. "A test of the carnal and the debauched. An attempt to see if your wicked thoughts are simply the product of a confused mind, or if they betray a larger underlying ailment." This was the part where she could really freak out. Here was hoping that didn't turn out to be the case. Night Light opened the wooden hole between the walls and prepared to stand. "With your permission, I am going to push my tumescence through this hole. I would like you to regard it, perhaps pleasure it too."

"...and this will help me?" If she'd sounded unsure before, she was straight up confused now. "Isn't this adultery too, though?"

"Loving Celestia is in no way a crime," Night Light assured her, lifting up and attempting to position himself properly. He gave himself a few strokes, eager to be ready. "Considering that I am simply a tool of Her bountiful chest, you may consider me an extension of Celestia. This applies to every part of me." Oh, he loved every part of this, too. There was sport to be found in convincing these sexy, conflicted little mares to jerk him, blow him, even fuck him. The best part of it was, they always walked away feeling as if he'd helped them! "So... what will it be? Are you willing to trust me?"

The mare on the other side was weighing her options up and he knew it. She was wondering if this would count as a sin if it occurred in the booth. As far as Night Light was concerned, no, she'd walk away absolved, and most importantly, so would he. "...I'll do it. I just want to do whatever will help me most. Thank you for being so understanding, father."

He got sexual favours and thanks at the same time! Honestly, Night Light's job wasn't so terrible sometimes. As soon as he was ready, he pushed his cock through, waiting for a reaction. The moment he heard a gasp, one of surprise, he knew that she was impressed, and that he'd get precisely what he was looking for soon after.

After that, silence, then a hoof brushing against his medial ring. She was eager.

And he was in serious need of some karmic justice.


Twilight Sparkle was a nympho. Like, a serious sex addict. She was sucking dick in the morning, bathroom stall in the afternoon, and sleeping with her teachers at night, and she didn't even need the grade boost!

She'd loved it all of her life, the pleasure she felt getting off, being with another pony, making them cum... she didn't know what drew her to it so much, had no clue, and she really didn't care either. Once upon a time, she'd thought it was a problem, sure, but with time she'd learnt to embrace her 'flaw', much like she embraced every cock that ended up wrapped around her lips or other young, tight holes.

But she did worry about it all the same. She'd been brought up in a religious household, and despite everything, she respected Celestia—her main tutor—greatly. So much so that she'd never even made a pass at her. Not only that, she'd made certain to never reveal to her just how sex-addled she really was. She cared deeply about what Celestia thought of her, and wanted to make sure that when her life eventually did come to an end, that she wasn't going to be sent to Tartarus for her various naughty acts.

So she decided it was time for a little confession. She knew her father worked taking them in the afternoons, yet she hadn't partook in one since she was a filly. Now, at nineteen, she figured she was ready to give it another shot.

Part of her was just worried she'd enjoy it too much. It wasn't that she was especially attracted to her father, or anything like that, more that the taboo idea of talking to him about all of her indiscretions, all of the things she'd done wrong, spilling all the dirty details of her life to her dad while he didn't know it was her on the other side of the booth?..

Something about that was stupidly hot. No clue why. It just turned her on in some base, awful way that she probably would've felt guilt for if she wasn't such a fucking deviant.

After her daily appointment with one of her coursemates' cocks, she made her way to church. She was partially surprised that she didn't combust walking in. Cliche, she knew, but she also knew that Celestia's way of dealing with sinners often involved a lot of fire, according to the Old Testament.

It was a beautiful building, both inside and out. Stained glass, statues, murals, old architecture, all of it. If anything, it was strange seeing it so empty, but the candlelight over the confessional booth revealed that Night Light was in. Twilight was more excited than she should've been, heart pumping as she walked up, not knowing exactly what to expect. When Night Light spoke about confession at the dinner table, as he did at times, he always did so with a hint of satisfaction and pride. He thought it really helped ponies.

If anything, his dad was too much of a saint to be put through this, but Twilight wanted to have some fun. Screw being the good girl, she'd walk out of here with a pair of horns.

Either way, she'd be absolved, right?

She made her way into the booth after a short knock and the word 'enter'. It was definitely her dad's voice. She realised that it might not have been too obvious it was him if she didn't know what to look out for, that it was him that worked here. Twilight wondered whether she should mask her voice to make it harder for her dad to realise it was her, but opted not to. Playing with risk was part of the fun of this, right?

The moment she sat down in the surprisingly spacious booth—there was more than enough space to stand on all fours comfortably—she heard her dad's voice once more. "How can I help you, my child?"

Twilight had to stifle a giggle. Oh, if only he realised the irony of what he'd just said. She flicked her bangs. She knew he couldn't see it, just habit. Her next words rolled off of her tongue. Sexy, playful, confident. "I don't know if you can help me, father. I've been a very bad girl..."

Twilight instantly heard a light shuffling from the other side of the booth. She didn't want to make him too uncomfortable too quickly. Maybe dial it back a bit. "Is that so? Do you mind telling me what it is that you've done? Remember, everything is confidential here."

Look at him being so accommodating for her. She dropped the sultry note from her voice. "Oh, what haven't I done? I'm constantly misbehaving, I skip college to hang around with classmates, I don't do as I'm asked, but most of all? I'm a complete and utter sex addict." She stated it as the fact it was. She didn't use it to tease, merely said it. Sure, this got her off, but she wasn't looking to get her father hard in the process too.

...was she? She wasn't entirely sure now. Maybe that was hot too.

"And..." A slight cough from the other end. He was already squirming and she knew it. "When is it that this dependency on sex developed? Was it at a younger age, or more recently?"

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" She was meant to be dialling it back, damn it. "I... I suppose it all started when I was younger. I'd masturbate at home, y'know, lingerie magazines, films with hot stallions having softcore sex... I didn't really have access to porn, and mares and stallions both do it for me." She was telling the truth, a truth she never really got to tell, as no one really asked. It was kinda liberating. "And then when I got older, I started to realise that these strange sensations I was feeling would be so much better if I shared them with another pony." Twilight felt a twinge in her nethers thinking back to it. "My first was a unicorn from my school, she was curious too. We learnt a lot together, and I like learning..."

"Heh, almost sounds familiar."

Twilight's heart beat faster. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. Do go on, my child."

There it was again. Did-did that phrase turn her on? She was pretty sure it did. Yeah, this experience was very unlikely to save her from hellfire and damnation. "From there, I just got worse and worse. Any opportunity I got to fuck, I just had to take it. It was like an impulse, a need. Hell, I got to the point where I was inventing and manipulating situations just to get the cock I was looking for. I never did anything too terrible, like sleep with a married stallion or whatever, but I've led too many colts on..."

More shuffling on the other side. It masked the sound of Twilight slipping a hoof between her legs. Celestia might have been all-powerful, but she definitely wasn't omnipresent. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, same with her dad. She began to slowly rub at her slit as she waited for a response. Like she'd said, any opportunity was worth taking, and this was too hot to pass up on.

"And now that you've recognised this issue, you've come to confess. Why? Do you hope to renounce your past ways?"

"Not really..." Twilight didn't have to strain too much to mask her breathiness at first. So many clandestine sessions had made that easy. She continued to slowly play with herself as she spoke. "Rather, I want to... focus it. And to make sure that Celestia's okay with it, of course."

Of course Celestia wasn't okay with it. Twilight had read the scriptures. Being controlled by your desires was a sign of sin, moderation and balance were the cornerstones of balance. That's why what Night Light—the good priest—said to her next shocked her. "The Lord is willing to understand anything a pony does that doesn't bring harm to others or themselves. In fact, She celebrates those that use her teachings to promote healthy and happy lives for themselves. If sex is an important part of your happiness, then I encourage you to pursue it, so long as it isn't destructive to do so."

Was he... was he encouraging her, his own daughter, to fuck more? Sure, he couldn't have known who he was speaking to, but... wow, that made her pussy tingle even more. She fought the urge to squirm in place. "Well... where do you think I should start? If monogamy doesn't interest me, should I just carry on looking for ponies that wanna get down and dirty?"

"...perhaps I have a suggestion."

Twilight's ears twitched. Hell, even her hoof halted for just a moment. The husky voice with which her father had said those words, the hanging implication, the suspense... it was all rolling over in Twilight's mind and failing to come together in a way she could fully understand. "What exactly are you talking about?"

"You say that you're looking for more wholesome ways to enjoy sex, correct? Maybe I could assist?" He tapped on the wood. "There is a box on this side of the booth for ponies to slip bits through, donations to the church. I haven't attempted to before, but I imagine I could push my cock, as you would put it, through that hole and allow you to enjoy yourself in a holy environment. To see it not as a sin, but as an expression of desire and love for your fellow pony." A laugh, warm and inviting. "And, of course, everything is confidential in here. It is wholly and entirely your choice."

Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her own father was soliciting her! Surely he hadn't caught on that it was her, right? Maybe that was it, maybe he knew. Maybe he was just trying to see how far he could push her before she dropped the act. The alternative was...

Night Light wasn't a married stallion, not anymore, but the abuse of trust that came from offering sex to vulnerable churchgoers that would never be able to identify him? Twilight could see just how fucked up that was. She can't have been the only person who had came into his booth to talk about sex in the past, either. She didn't believe the line about him 'not having tried before' for one minute. It was too specific, too spontaneous.

And now, Twilight had a choice. She could simply refuse and leave, as she should've, get out while it was still viable and confront her father later, tell him what a piece of work he was...

Or. Or she could go through with this, if she could bring herself to, and confront him with that afterwards. Make him realise just what he'd managed to do by playing such a dangerous game. To think she'd considered him such an angel before now, how had she not seen it?

No wonder he loved confession so much, if this was what he got up to. It took a cough on the other end of the booth for Twilight to realise she'd been stunned to silence by all of this. With any other priest, she'd have jumped at this opportunity,
but right now?

She had to debate with her conscience for almost a minute before finally caving. Let's be honest, she knew she was going to from the start. "Why don't you show me what you have for me, father?"

"Now, that's a good girl..." The hole opened, and Twilight worried for a moment he might peek through, but instead, she only caught a glimpse of him moving to stand, placing his forelegs against the wall. "In this world, we receive that which we put out into it. I'm sure by bringing me satisfaction in this moment, you too shall be rewarded."

"Does that mean that you're gonna fuck me after I blow you, father?"

"Precisely, my child."

Okay, she was having too much fun with this. Night Light was about to be having fun, too, as he'd just pushed an impressive amount of cock through that hole. Hell, it almost looked as if it was designed for his length, as his medial ring just barely fit through. He was already rocking a semi, but it wouldn't take much of Twilight's skilled tongue to coax out his full length.

Sure, there was one last moment of hesitation. Knowledge that she was about to commit a cardinal sin, do something horribly unethical and have to live with it for the rest of her life.

Then she gave his head a tentative lick. Already gone this far, right?

Didn't take long for her to go further. A few more licks as her daddy moaned out in approval, and she began to work her way down his length, studying the contours of his cock as she went, admiring his strong, mature musk and the way his cock flexed as it began to reach a fuller, more enjoyable stiffness.

She let him guide her with his moans at first. This wasn't her first time working a gloryhole, and she was sure he'd be able to tell soon. Her tongue glided from the base of his cock, the weight of it against her snout, all the way up to his flared tip, and when she finally wrapped her lips around it, she revelled in the way his breath hitched. Time to show off a little. With one fluid motion, she pushed herself down onto it, lathering almost the entirety of his length in a healthy amount of spittle before pulling back, long enough for the sensation to be merely a phantom pleasure, a hint of what was to come next.

"Sweet Celestia..."

Twilight giggled aloud. "Don't say her name in vein, father!" With that, she got back to the task at hoof. She began to slowly jerk him with a hoof, simultaneously holding him in place as all the while she positioned her mouth over his cock once more, lips perfectly placed around him, tip of her tongue poking at the underside of his shaft. She moved down him in a smooth, sensual motion that spoke volumes of her most adept cocksucking skills. It took only a second for Twilight to realise, for it to really dawn on her that she held half of her father's cock in her greedy little mouth.

It took her two more seconds to stop caring. She was ravenous, and moved with a fervour afforded only to the greatest sluts of Equestria's green earth, lapping at her father in a manner so desperate that she may as well have begged him to plaster her in his seed. She wouldn't be letting him cum too quickly, however. She had a lot to get out of this yet.

She moved back, dipping and licking and flicking at her father's head with her tongue, keeping his responses measured, controlling them, cajoling his desire with each push of her perfect little lips against his hardness. He stood there in ephemeral bliss, each wondrous moment cut short before he could truly enjoy it, because unbeknownst to him, his daughter was a terrible tease. She'd play with him until he pleaded she pick up the pace, until he desperately attempted to thrust against the hole, to force himself into her throat, but all she had to do was move back just enough to keep the same torturous distance between them, and there was nothing he could do about the wall.

She contained him. Boxed him in a prison of his own need as all the while she slaked her own, tongue dancing and bouncing between the most sensitive spots of his stallionhood, suckling and stalling and stopping short every time she moved to advance to the next stage, the one he was so eagerly anticipating.

When she finally felt she'd broken him, when she could feel the way he shuddered throughout the whole of his body, tremors even building at the base of his cock, when his pants felt dry and hoarse and echoed with longing in the small room, she finally succumbed to her own want, indulging on that which she'd put off since she started.

She swallowed daddy's cock, as much of it as she possibly could.

It was difficult—he was rather thick—but Twilight eventually managed to push three quarters of his length inside her mouth, down her throat. She'd had more practice than she needed to state, and her father was only now beginning to realise what he'd gotten into, if the elongated moan on the other side of the wall was any indication. Twilight would've grinned if she could—he didn't know the half of it.

She moved back with a long, fluid motion, tongue tapping right and left over different points of his shaft as she began to incorporate a hoof into the mix, playful and all around necessary in order to keep an impressive length such as this one well tended to. She jerked and sucked him in tandem, eyes tightly closed, throat contracting as every now and again she attempted to push herself further down than she knew she could onto him. Twilight knew she couldn't swallow his entire cock, but she was either awfully determined, a glutton for punishment, or she knew just how much Night Light loved it when her throat spasmed around the tip of his cock.

She pulled back with a cough and sputter, quickly catching her breath as she finally caught sight of his dark slab of cock once more, drenched in saliva. He was nice and well-lubricated now, surely, and just about ready for what came next.

She continued to cough, though it was completely fake. Really, she wanted to surprise him with what came next. After a few seconds, she heard the voice of her loving father through the walls. "My child, are you alright? Have you been punished for your gluttony?"

It was just enough time for her to reposition herself properly and push her soaked pussy lips against his cock. "No, father, but you're about to be." With that, she pushed back, softly shaking her backside up and down, teasing him by rubbing her wet lips over the tip of his cock. She knew he wanted nothing more than to thrust forwards, to claim his prize, but there was no way he could. He was simply too far overextended, no space to work with, and was forced to stand there in wait until Twilight decided it was time.

"Now, my child, s-surely you realise trickery is wicked and vile?"

A flick of her soft tail against his cock. "As vile as seducing your followers, I imagine?"

She heard a soft growl on the other end of the wall. Touchy subject, she hoped. "D-don't try and compare it. I am simply an instrument of Celestia's desire, I am—"

He was cut off with a sharp groan as Twilight tired of his excuses, finally pushing herself back enough that the tip of his cock slipped inside of her, tight and clinging to him with ease, shockwaves of pleasure running through her own body all the same. "Does that mean the princess would get off just as easily if She was the one fucking me? Does it mean She wants to fuck me?" She attempted to sound innocent, inquisitive, but she couldn't help the breathy laughter as she backed up more.

"D-do not blaspheme..."

"Or what, father? You'll stop fucking me?" To prove a point, Twilight pushed back further, just enough that he could pump half of his length in and out of her as he pleased. Coincidentally, this was exactly how far he needed to push to nearly tickle her g-spot. Twilight enjoyed teasing herself just as much.

And, to show just how right she was, he didn't by any means stop. Did you really think he would? If anything, he pushed faster, with more dominant intent, reprimanding the wrongdoer, the harlot, the temptress that had walked into this sanctified place and defiled it with her wiles. Twilight knew there was emotion in his movements, and she matched it with her own. Not only did she channel her lust, but also her anger and her sense of betrayal, her hurt at the thought that her dad could do such things, that he was really this kind of pony.

But mostly it was how much his cock was filling her right now, let's be honest.

She pushed further back onto him, as far as she could, bending forwards on her front legs and beginning to move herself back and forth, covering his length in her juices, stroking him back and forth, clinging to his cock and keeping him rooted, clenching and contracting and crying out in short intervals, their breath in a matching rhythm, a bond represented by a joining of the bodies, one that couldn't be shattered now no matter how she might've tried.

She knew she shouldn't have been enjoying this, and that was why she enjoyed it.

Time to kick this into overdrive. Twilight began to spread her legs wider, planting herself against the floor as she kept her ass high, allowing Night Light to pound her harder than he already was, to exercise full control, to take her and rut her and make her his little bitch. He was loving the experience, each second of it, and Twilight could only imagine she was miles better than anyone he'd had before now. It was just a shame he'd never have her again.

Twilight repositioned and manoeuvred her body around him, allowing him to rub up against her g-spot, to massage her with his cock right where she needed to feel his warm, iron-hard pressure. The sensation was building up inside of her and ready to explode like a missile, the terrible, wonderful act a catalyst to an orgasm that she'd been needing all fucking day now. Only, she was sure it was going to be quite unlike any other before it.

She braced herself, allowing him to rut her silly, to treat her as the whore she was, all rational thought leaving her mind for just a few moments as she began to approach the eclipse of sense and pleasure, as she forgot why she was here, forgot what she was meaning to do now, giving herself up for him, for his monstrous, immensely satisfying cock, allowing a rapid influx of satisfaction to wash over her, just as her juices continued to pool over his thickness, to leak down her leg and get mottled in her fur...

She hadn't came so hard in weeks, months, but she'd never done something quite this taboo either. Was it the risk factor? The fact he was his father? None of it mattered right then, all that did was the mind-shattering feeling that rocked her inside and out, refused to relinquish its grasp on her until eventually, even through the battering bombardment of thrusts she continued to receive, the feeling began to ebb, and all that was left was residual pleasure and small shudders shooting through her.

But there was no time to rest, to enjoy even a semblance of serenity, for she could intuit that Night Light too was getting close, that any second now, he'd burst inside her, fill her up, make her his...

A part of her wanted it. In this perfect moment, endorphins freshly released, tingles shooting all over, what self-respecting mare wouldn't?

But she knew she couldn't do that. So she waited until he was right at the cusp of orgasm before expertly pulling away, taking him in her mouth, and bringing him to the cusp and beyond with one expert press of her tongue, his cock enveloped by her muzzle, swallowing down all of her father's seed as spurt after spurt fired into her throat, sticky and wet, filling her as much as she could take, disjointed and ragged breaths echoing in the culmination of their mutual exchange, until everything was silent, satiated, and still.

"H-how was that for you, my child?"

Twilight took a second to admire his seed. He didn't actually taste bad. "Pretty good, dad."

There was a prolonged silence. Twilight could only imagine the anvil dropping in Night Light's mind. "E-excuse me?"

"You heard me. See you at dinner."

Before Night Light could shuffle out of the booth and open her side, Twilight had teleported away.

In hindsight, probably not the best idea, but it certainly was going to make for some entertaining dinner conversation.

She could only hope her brother would be there to bear witness!